Shitting On My Already Miserable Life

Do you ever just.. Peel off a layer of yourself, just to see how damaged you are?

Sometimes I wonder why I bother to live on. Guess some part of me believes things will get better.. Though life really just likes to take the dump on me

Why? Does life only take it out on people who are trying so hard to live a happy life? I just want to be happy, for a full month. Maybe a year. 

That would be so bloody nice, you know? I had this break coming. I got over someone that was as important as air to me and now, I have to live with my parents thinking I’m a slut.

Just cause I decided to admire myself in that kind of way, for once – Life of course has to fuck me up by my mum catching me in the act.

But hey, at least I know I can rock a cropped top and short shorts.

I’m looking good for no one, other than myself. But whatever. Guess she thinks I’m whoring myself out to guys cause she always claims to know me, which got annoying along the way.

The weirdest thing was; when I actually thought of the person, who left me, comforting me – I felt better. Kinda anyways. They were always like a charm that made me feel better. Something that would grab me and pull me out of the darkness, you know?

But I guess they’re happy where they are now. I shouldn’t just pop back into their life and wreck that. Even now, just thinking of them – I get a bit happy. I’m just glad they were a part of my life.

They were the most important part of my life and I suppose nothing will ever change that. I wish them happiness even if my life gets shittier and shittier by the minute. They deserve a good life and I guess.. I don’t really deserve a good one.. for hurting them…

You reap what you sow I suppose. 

Sometimes I don’t want to get close to people because I feel like they wouldn’t like me at all. 

I guess it’s a defense mechanism to easily let go of those who left me. If I held on, and kept hoping – I might get hurt again. Experiencing that kind of pain… I can only take it once. 

Advertisements

Me Vs Me #22

​I have these lil mini convos in my head to pass time. So here’s one;

When people repeatedly say they can’t get over their past and I’m still trying my best to get over mine..

Me :

Inner Me :

“Bitch, please stop. I don’t need any more negativity when I’m trying my best to get over my issues”

You don’t have to fake it 

This is to the new people I meet. Honestly, I find it amazing some people would pretend to care but when shit hits the fan – they run.

They get all close to ya, stick around and make you believe they’ll stay, but they don’t.

That’s the reality of it all after all. You may be thinking; then why bother to stick around me?

Answer’s simple. They’re using you.

Pretty sure it won’t take even an idiot to figure that one out. 

They milk you out for what you’re worth. Rid you of any information, anything that’ll aid ’em.

Now I’m not saying all the new people you meet are going to use you – just probably the majority, probably. 

Just keeping it real mate. Adults, most of ’em look out for themselves. 

If you think you can trust your new friends – then good on ya. 

Just remember,

Me And My Friends

Things to note;

Me : Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon

If there’s no moon sign, means I don’t know their moon sign

If there’s a number – it’s with a different person. Number 1 is different from Number 2.

Basically each gif represents a different person

—–

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon(right)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Pisces Sun, Libra Moon(left)

Us three together ; Cancer Sun, Gemini moon & Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon & Pisces Sun , Libra Moon (In that order)

—–

Just encounters I’ve had with certain signs ;

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(female) & Pisces Sun, Leo Moon(the male being yelled at)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Sagittarius Sun, Capricorn Moon(the one that leaves)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Virgo(right) (1) #defnotsarcastic #notatall

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Virgo(right) (2)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(the man) & Aries (1)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Aries(right) (2)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Gemini(left) (1)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Gemini(left) (2)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Aquarius(left) (1)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Aquarius(right) (2)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Sagittarius Sun, Cancer Moon(left)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Libra Sun, Gemini Moon(right)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Sagittarius(right) (1)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Sagittarius(right) (2)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Sagittarius(right) (3)

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(left) & Pisces(right) 

Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon(right) & Taurus Sun, Gemini Moon(left)

Sleeping In – Phil Good

We’re always sleeping in,
And dreaming through the morning,
‘cause waking up is boring.
Been livin’ in a fiction,
We gotta keep it going,
Ignoring all the warnings,

I strive to be the best that I can.
Our love is cheap without devotion,
So incomplete without emotions.
Somewhere away they’ve got a
Smile on their face,
’cause we are sedated.

Maybe we’ll redefine the motions,
Before we’re swallowed by the oceans