Goals

I aspire to have this kind of relationship with someone;

We’re probably trying to bullshit our way through something..

Me : 


Signalling : “I’m confused”

Them :

Signalling : “just go with the flow. We’ll bullshit our way through this entire thing and they won’t even know we’re faking it”

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Me Vs Me #25

I have these lil mini convos in my head to pass time. So here’s one;

When a friend draws my character completely different..

Inner Me :

“Do not throw a fuss over a petty issue”

Me :

“I am not-” 

Inner Me :

Me : 

“Hugo(my OC) does NOT look like that!”

“Everyone’s character looks like whatever they wanted it to look like but mine looks so bloody different that I hate it. I drew mine the way I liked it. Then when he did that poster for our campaign, I couldn’t even tell my character was in the thing cause like I said; does not look like how I drew it

Inner Me :

“Well then just tell him, ya pussy”

Me : 

“I can’t.. Cause when I first saw it, it was already coloured and looked 75% done. He spent a lot of time and put a lot of effort into it as well. So how could I just say ‘hey, hate how you drew my character so can you redraw it?’ That’s a dick move, even for me”

Inner Me :

“Ahahahhaa you’re an idiot, you know that?”

Me :

“Huh?”

Inner Me :

“Listen, the answer is so bloody simple. It’s a wonder how you couldn’t see it in the first place. Since you’re soooooo offended by this, just redraw it on your own and claim you like this version of Hugo better. Simple as that”

Me :

“But then what about his efforts and-”

Inner Me :

“I don’t see how that’s your problem. He can use the original as his portfolio or whatever. But this story, includes you as well. Don’t see a problem in you ensuring your character looks exactly how you designed him. Besides, most people would have asked him to redraw but you’re nice enough to redraw it for him

—–

This is how I drew my character;

It’s a very basic sketch that needs a lot of touching up, but you try and tell me if the one below looks even remotely similar to the one above

The one he drew;

Jeez, one side of me honestly doesn’t give af but the other has it’s pride hurt or whatever. Sigh, such a pain the ass

Touch & Go

A really funny story happened.. Well, okay it wasn’t so funny, it was actually really serious and even now, I can’t believe it happened. 

To summarise it, I got dumped for hanging out with someone that ONE person in my group disliked.

Names first: Jesse, Dan, Phil and Tyler

Okay, now here’s how it happened;

Yesterday I had a blast with Jesse. We haven’t met up in so long so we decided to meet yesterday. She also took some vids to post to Insta – which Phil followed(this is important)

Now today, I come to school and Phil suddenly ignores me. Doesn’t tell me why either. Goes as far as to leave me behind and not even wait for me. Lo and behold, Tyler was with him the whole way. 

So I didn’t know what was up, don’t even know why I bothered to catch up. Probably shouldn’t have cause even my instincts were like “don’t follow”

So while Phil was ordering food, I ask Tyler if he’s mad with me. To which he says “yea, cause you hung out with Jesse”. Now I was pissed cause he didn’t tell me that he had a problem and just chose to ignore me. All I knew was that he was neutral with Jesse and I was cool with that. Fuck, I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Me Vs Me #24

I have these lil mini convos in my head to pass time. So here’s one;

Love…

Me :

“What if I can’t love anyone?”

Inner Me :

“I already know who you’re going to blame for this”

Me :

“I-”

Inner Me :

“Save it”

Me :

“I just.. I want to stop thinking of her. Sometimes it works and other times… It doesn’t”

Inner Me :

“Would you fuck her?”

Me :

“What does that have to do with-”

Inner Me :

“Just answer the damn question”

Me :

“I guess not?”

Inner Me :

“Then she ain’t as important as you make her out to be. It’s as simple as that”

Me :

“That’s a shallow way of thinking but that’s not related to-”

Inner Me :

“So you want a life partner that you can’t get down with?”

Me :

“Sex has nothing to do with-”

Inner Me :

“So you don’t disagree with the life partner statement. Such a shame

Me :

“Okay, stop messing with my mind like this”

Inner Me :

“You call this, ‘messing with your mind’?”

Me : 

Yes. Maybe I’m weak enough to call it that”

Inner Me : 

“It’s not a maybe. It’s a definitely“.

Me : 

Inner Me :

“Suit yourself but let’s not forget that she’s shared stuff between the two of you to others when you’ve never done the same. When you had a problem with her, you’d complain to people about the situation, if it get dire, but you’d never badmouth her. What makes you think she’s never badmouthed you?”

Me :

//opens the door// “But I did badmouth her..”

Inner Me :

After she left. Many people do that under pressure. Pretty sure you were under the impression she wasn’t coming back and she probably isn’t. Hey, it still is wrong but just saying that you’re not the first to do that”

Me :

“You think she might have done that?..”

Inner Me :

“She probably did. But it’s just speculation at this point. We don’t have any proof or evidence that she did do that”

Me :

“….”

Inner Me :

//hugs// “It’s okay. You‘ll be okay”

You Fucked Up Twat

Italics is targeted to myself

Then again this whole thing is kinda about me-

(Aye it’s like a pun. I meant for it to be some kind of cut off thing but it is also about me moving one)

Anyways, one picture that will summarise the backstory;

When I think back on it; 

I should never have called her

Never should have asked her to take me back

It was so obvious that she moved on already

Yet I kept thinking “but she might not! Maybe she’s giving me a chance! That’s why she gave me three years to wait for her! I-”

She ignored me and that was plain as day. 

Obviously her mobile number didn’t change so I could tell when I sent that SMS, she probably just swiped that lil notification away

Don’t even know if the e-mail she gave was legit

(Probably)Me In The Future;

Now I know you think you know her better or whatever, but dude. Ask yourself.

Did you really? How about that.. A-girl. She seemed to know more than you ever would

(Probably)Me In The Future;

But hey, I wouldn’t blame her for giving me a fake e-mail 

I fucked up really bad and losing that friendship was probably the cost of it

But what’s done, is DONE.

So to myself, who in the future will probably have some small hope(again);

Quit it. Just dump that waste. You honestly don’t need this in your life. 

If it was meant to be, why are you not with her then?

Exactly.

Now she’s living her life – hopefully happily, and I think you wasted a year and a bit more than that thinking of how you guys would get back together – which newsflash;

Make good use of the rest of your days

– – – – – – – – – –

(Probably)Me In The Future;

[At First]

(Probably)Me In The Future;
[In The End]