Empty – I Feel

There are times where, out of the blue, I feel empty. It always catches me off guard. I wish I knew why.

There’s a reason for everything, right? Surely, there must be a reason for this.

Sometimes I can’t help but think if it has something to do with you.With you by my side, I never once felt empty. Even if you were with others, I’d feel like you were right by my side.

With you gone, I lost some of my strength. But, that’s not why I want you back. I wouldn’t care if I was still weak when you return.

When you return, I know I’ll be whole again. Thus that’s why I’m waiting. Even if I am a fool,a truly idiotic fool at that, for waiting – I want you in my life again.

We’d laugh and cry again. I was a fool to ask more from you. I was greedy then. But mistakes are made to be learnt from, right?

How I wish I could talk to you sooner. Time flies ever so slowly when you’re not by my side. It’s almost suffocating, really.

I’m aware I have so many amazing people in my life but honestly, I feel like I don’t deserve them. I feel like I don’t deserve any of them. Not even you.

You’re not like me, I know that. But I’ve never been good at reading you. Whereas, you always knew what was going on with me. Sometimes I wonder if you left because I was too troublesome.

Would you return if I became less of who I am and more of what you want me to be? If it’s like that, I truly wouldn’t know what to do.

I don’t ever know what to do. Is this why I feel empty?

I’m a fool, aren’t I? Tell me, I am. I can’t move on properly. You want me to do that, right? But I can’t.

Make me hate you, please. I’m begging. I don’t want to feel empty for three lonesome years.

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