Set Free

I’m free to wander off

Yet I stay and wait

Many doors are open

But the door to you is closed

I could fly away 

Since there are no strings to hold me back

Yet I continue to wait 

For your door to open

Silly, I know 

But to me,

It’s the most important thing in my life

And I could never do without it

Empty – I Feel

There are times where, out of the blue, I feel empty. It always catches me off guard. I wish I knew why.

There’s a reason for everything, right? Surely, there must be a reason for this.

Sometimes I can’t help but think if it has something to do with you.With you by my side, I never once felt empty. Even if you were with others, I’d feel like you were right by my side.

With you gone, I lost some of my strength. But, that’s not why I want you back. I wouldn’t care if I was still weak when you return.

When you return, I know I’ll be whole again. Thus that’s why I’m waiting. Even if I am a fool,a truly idiotic fool at that, for waiting – I want you in my life again.

We’d laugh and cry again. I was a fool to ask more from you. I was greedy then. But mistakes are made to be learnt from, right?

How I wish I could talk to you sooner. Time flies ever so slowly when you’re not by my side. It’s almost suffocating, really.

I’m aware I have so many amazing people in my life but honestly, I feel like I don’t deserve them. I feel like I don’t deserve any of them. Not even you.

You’re not like me, I know that. But I’ve never been good at reading you. Whereas, you always knew what was going on with me. Sometimes I wonder if you left because I was too troublesome.

Would you return if I became less of who I am and more of what you want me to be? If it’s like that, I truly wouldn’t know what to do.

I don’t ever know what to do. Is this why I feel empty?

I’m a fool, aren’t I? Tell me, I am. I can’t move on properly. You want me to do that, right? But I can’t.

Make me hate you, please. I’m begging. I don’t want to feel empty for three lonesome years.

I’ll never understand..

Sometimes we don’t really have a choice for who we fall for. It may come of as a shock when you realise you’ve fallen hard for that person

Sometimes that can be a good thing.

For me, however, it was a bad thing.

To solely focus all my love on one person wasn’t my best decision. That’s because when they left due to the problems I caused,

I was blaming myself continuously.

I was thinking that I was a joke

I didn’t want anyone but them

But I still want them

Up to now, I’ve never understood it. I question myself over and over again but I never find the answer I want.

Rouge H.